Now that I come back today(25-May), I realise that I had just lost my vision. The interest and my curiostiy has been revamped. I now am really excited to explore and set work on the project.
Why? Why did this happen to me in the first place. I mean, why did I ever feel this conflict of interest. Why was there a sudden loss of interest. And that too a very drastic one. I am not yet sure of the reason, but going back in the past, I realised that this is common. I usually feel these urges or these mixed feelings of resentement of the current work I do. One reason for this is, I underestimate my work. I look at various other people and think that the work they do is way way better than what I do. I assume that there project/work would help them learn much better. Would provide them with a wider knowledge base then what I currently am doing.
I think, that’s my nature. I disregard what I have with me at the moment and look out and get fascinated by things that are out of reach. In some ways this very attribute of mine has made me try different things. Trying to achieve what I don’t have. And I am not going to eliminate this from myself.
But I need to remind myself from time to time, that you need to take things one step at a time. If you don’t step properly you will end up falling down and hurting yourself. All this is important if I ever want to be the creator of various life changing softwares. Yes, you see readers - Creating softwares that will change the way Computer Science works is my goal.
Okay! This might sound a little childish but I do dream of a day when the software I create is used by people al over the world. Conferences are made on that software. Awesome things are made using my art (software) as the foundation. I dream of the day when I wake up to a tons of thank you emails.
I dream of the day, when I walk through the door and People look at me admire. Admire my skills. The day when people accept me. Acknowledge me.
Most importantly, I just would really like if my software can bring lot’s of people together and give them another reason to have fun and make relations.
That being said, I won’t ever monetize my software. If and when I do create something like that - It would be realised to the world for FREE. It will be Open Sourced. Money doesn’t interest me as much as the admiration of people does to me. I can do other odd jobs for money but my software/my art - I want that to be open for everyone out there. I will never ever stop the flow of knowledge and that’s the reason - Why i pass on all the oppurtunites to the group of friends and everyone I know. Some people might think that I show off but Naah! I do it - Because it makes me happy. Happy when someone uses the information I give and use it to build new chapters in their life :)
And in order to reach to such a level - I need to take one step at a time. On every step I need to learn as much as I can and once I do learn it all move on. And in the process don’t forget to have fun.
I guess, this topic has got very branched. I warned you :P Let’s back to the main topic.
Though I keep at other things and get very fascinated by them. I need to realise that I spend a lot of time at my laptop and yet achieve very less output. That’s because of the fact that I spend my brain cells worrying about the fact of how to do other things. And this hampens my progress. Also, I need to get over the way I quantify my progress. Naveen my boy, understand - Sitting long hours is not equivalent to progress. That’s a very bad measure of quantifying.
In order to overcome this, I will from now on set the tasks that I want to achieve each day. Completion of all these tasks would mean that I have a productive day Else, it wasn’t and some analysis needs to be done on what can be improved.
This system though will need time to be perfected. Since the last two years, I have been trying to set this system up - But I fail and always fall back to the measure of time. I guess, that been rooted into my system. But it’ll change.
From today on - Tasks will be made everyday - It would include
This way instead of focusing on time - I’ll look at small minute tasks that I would have to complete each day and scratch them of the list.
Let’s see how this system pans out. If it works out - well and good. Else we would jump on to something else.
TL;DR The problem has been associated with my way of thinking. I tend to look at things that are not in my reach and disregard the current things that I have. Though this feeling helps me grow - But it also hampers my progress of the current tasks that I work. The feeling of reaching things not in my reach - works when I finish the things that I do take on.
Another problem realised is the way I quantify my work. Until now - The measure has been time. Which is pretty bad and a faulty means. This has been shifted to a
Daily Tasks system. Let’s see how it works.
Also, Remember Naveen - When Other people can handle lot’s of things in a single day and manage to be productive - You can too. Those people aren’t very different then me.
That’s it for this post. Now that my curiosity has been reinstated and my interst on the project rejuvenated. I can’t wait to hack my way through this summer.